Unhealthy relationships often start early. Especially in their first few relationships, teens may not know what behaviors are healthy or unhealthy. Activities such as teasing or checking a partner’s cell phone are often thought of as “normal” parts of a relationship, but these behaviors build and set the stage for more serious emotional abuse or violence. Teenage dating violence is just as serious as adult domestic violence, especially because it often starts a pattern of abuse or victimization that lasts a lifetime. The severity of intimate partner violence in adulthood is often greater in cases where the pattern of abuse was established in adolescence.

Youth receive messages about how to behave in relationships from peers, adults in their lives, and the media.  All too often these examples suggest violence and control in a relationship is okay. These examples also promote early sexual activity and promiscuity. However, most teenagers don’t fully understand what constitutes sexual assault or know about consent laws, leading to an increased risk of sexual abuse as well as risky sexual behaviors.

Without healthy role models or education, teenagers are at a serious risk for an unhealthy relationship because they are still in the process of learning what their boundaries are, how to communicate in a relationship, and how to identify controlling and abusive behavior.  Teenagers are also seeking control in their life, and often act this out through bullying in earlier grades and dating violence as they get older. Both behaviors are often "about establishing dominance," she says. The results suggest there is a "violence trajectory" and "if it's not addressed, it will escalate." Simply put—bullying leads to dating violence leads to domestic violence.

Because teenagers are still developing emotionally and cognitively, they are heavily influenced by relationship experiences. Unhealthy or abusive relationships can cause short and long-term negative effects on development.  Victims of teen dating violence are more likely to do poorly in school, and report binge drinking, suicide attempts, and physical fighting. They are at higher risk for substance abuse and eating disorders as well. Teens who are abusive or are abused are likely to carry the patterns of violence into future relationships.

With increased use of technology, dating violence often involves cyber-bullying or stalking as means of control.  Controlling behavior can start as simple as texting a lot during the day—even if this seems normal teenage behavior at first, it can turn into using text messages to monitor their partner and control who they spend their time with. 

Teens who are controlling are also likely to start reading their partner’s texts and going through their phone, and to send threats over text.  Teenagers are also more likely to engage in sexting—sending inappropriate pictures messages.  This isn’t necessarily unhealthy, but can be a means of abuse—either the abuser sending and forcing their partner to look at images, or coercing the victim into sending photos or messages that could be shared or used as a threat.

• Sexting can have legal consequences. Any nude photos or video of someone under 18 could be considered child pornography, which is always illegal. Even if whoever sent the image did so willingly, the recipient can still get in a lot of trouble.

Some states still do not include dating relationships in their definition of domestic violence, leaving young victims at risk because they cannot apply for protection orders or become confused about their legal recourses. In Alaska, teenagers may be able to get an protective order against an abuser who is a minor, but only because the law isn’t very specific—depending on the judge, they may or may not be able to and teenagers may or may not be able to file without an adult present.

Teenagers may also have increased difficulty or danger in leaving an abusive partner because it is likely that they will still be going to school with their partner and have to see them every day. They also may not have as many options for safe social groups to provide distance outside of school from their abuser. Safety plans for teens should incorporate a section on school safety planning.